Pizza for Dinner
Wednesday, June 30, 2004
Top Five Famous Guys I Would Make Out with Based Solely on Awesomeness
In no particular order:
1. Jon Stewart---I love Jon Stewart. He's hilarious on the Daily Show and probably the best looking (currently) of this list. Regardless, I can't say enough about how funny he is if you haven't seen the Daily Show. Dry wit and sarcasm are great.

2. Jack Nicholson---I don't know if I would have ever found him physically attractive but come on, it's Nicholson. Given the opportunity who wouldn't make out with him if he asked? You could sit and watch One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest and be like, Dude, Jack totally felt me up. I think I'd make a t-shirt saying as much.

3. Martin Sheen---While the young Martin Sheen is both attractive and strangely identical to both sons Charlie and Emilio I might still prefer the current TV president. He owns the role on West Wing and that commercial he did with Charlie for amex (waiting in the video store for the check to clear, I think it was amex) was one of my favorites. While I wouldn't complain if he rattled off Sorkin dialogue during our make-out session I heard he's pretty funny on his own so basically any talking at all is bound to be good.

4. Christopher Walken---I can't explain why I love this man, except that he has some untouchable coolness about him that most actors don't have these days. Yeah, there's thought that he's become a parody of himself but I think that's more him having a sense of humor about himself and changing up his movie roles a bit than selling out. Plus I really want to hear the benefits of having a tail over flying.

5. Al Pacino---Pacino was very hot in Godfather but I might pick the current incarnation just to hear him say 'hoo ha.' You know I'd get a hoo ha.
Monday, June 28, 2004
happiness ensues
The evil post doc is gone. If I wasn't tired I think I would be skipping around the lab with rainbows shooting from my soles and butterflies spawning from my hands.

I went camping for the first time ever this weekend. I thought it would be something I'd like and I was right. I was a little worried that swarms of bugs and dirt on everything would bother me too much but I was fine with it, at least for the weekend. I did need to shower as soon as I got home though, so I think the fact that I was covered with the greasy remnants of spf50 sunblock that let all sand and dirt within a 2 foot radius of me stick to my body was fine in the setting of camping. To function in my home I can't be that dirty for long. So my filth thresholds are situation dependent, good to know.

I did have a good time though. We played volleyball on the beach, swam in Lake Erie (well, I didn't swim but I did go in the water past my waist, it was a bit frigid), and went canoeing. Canoeing was also new for me and after being on the water for an hour and a half my arms and shoulders hurt. I was afraid of waking up today but they're fine, surprisingly. I didn't even get sunburn. Well, there's a small part just back from my forehead under my hair that burned yesterday but thankfully the sunblock worked. I even have some color. I wouldn't exactly call it tan on an absolute scale but for me it's tan. I'm excited about not being quite so transparent.

We also spent quite a bit of time eating around the fire and drinking, which is always fun. I actually gained 2 pounds this weekend, which isn't so awesome, but did surprise me. I ate a bit more than usual and a decent part of that was hot dogs and smores, but I was very active so I thought it'd balance out. Fire roasted hot dogs and smores are totally worth it though. Some foods cooked outside are so much better than cooking them inside. Plus you get to play with fire. And knives, because you must cut yourself a marshmallow stick. And who doesn't like fire and knives?

The other great thing about this trip was that we went camping in Canada. And to go from the US to Canada (or back) you may stop at the duty-free store. The duty free store had some awesome deals on liquor that I took advantage of for my party. I think I just need a bottle of tequila and some beer and I'll be set for the liquor portion of the evening. I think the best deal was the three pack of Tanqueray gin, Johnny Walker Red, and Captain Morgan's spiced rum for $50, canadian. They're all either fifths or liters, I forget. It matters not, as it was a sweet deal.

Anyway, I had a good weekend. Camping is cool, I'd recommend it. Maybe keep the group smaller than 10 people, but definitely go with friends. It's worth the clean up of all the gear afterwards (still not done yet).
Friday, June 25, 2004
I just saw a commercial for Dove soap where a woman was given a testimonial for the soap stating 'as the lather slid down my body it felt like someone was slipping a silk camisole over my head.'

I'm not afraid of my sexuality but I wasn't planning on getting a sudden glimpse of hers. This is why advertising targeted toward women has a negative effect on many women. Think hygeine product commercials. I do not know a single woman that likes them or is inspired to purchase a particular brand because a bouncing red dot comes onto the screen.

Wednesday, June 23, 2004
200th post!
I don't have anything special to celebrate. Sorry, I'll put a card in the mail tomorrow. I promise.

Extreme Shenanigans TO THE MAX:
To continue the awesome saga that is my apartment complex, I got an e-mail today from a guy coming into the program that was looking for a roommate for Medical Center Court apartments. I replied telling him about the shenanigans below and also some of the other, comparatively less crappy downsides to my apartment. He had mentioned they were giving him a good deal, but I thought he just didn't know the other apartments in town well and thought that the quality and location of the place equaled the price.
It seems they're knocking $150 off the rent AND giving ONE MONTH FREE to this guy, apparently as some promotional thing. To make things awesomer, I had asked the people in the office to take $50 or $100 off my rent before I asked to resign my lease and they said "we don't do that."
Totally rad.
So, not only are they screwing all residents but they're aggressively screwing the people who resign for another year. To make things clearer, if I were to resign my lease today, I will be paying $176 more a month, plus $875 from my non-free month of rent, plus the $100 a month estimate on utilities I may or may not use. For a grand total of $4187 more than some schmo who walks off the street. This isn't a union, I'm not trying to build a pension, I've been a high quality resident. I'm glad my new place is run by people who will want to treat me well because I'm a good resident.


Sunday, June 20, 2004
I love you! Here's some crap.
I've noticed a lot of Father's Day commercials lately. In fact, mostly today. Since today IS Father's Day I'm thinking it might be a little late. Not that my brother and I have gotten my Dad anything yet, but I live in another state so I have an excuse.

Anyway, all the stuff that's being targeted towards dads falls under the "manly chore" category. The Mr. Clean auto car wash, for example. Is this why (stereotypically) men think it's ok to get women appliances for holidays? Because they always get new shavers and a waxing kit for their car? For the record, there are certain appliances I'd enjoy getting as a gift. A bread machine, for example. Still, I wouldn't mind jewelry or clothes or other typical woman gifts either. I also wouldn't mind lingerie as a gift and I don't understand why someone would. But I digress.

Playboy often has a section in their June issue giving gift ideas for "dads and grads." This is a typical marketing strategy that time of year but the stuff they suggest is usually really cool. Nifty electronics, snazzy clothes, good liquor or cigars. Stuff someone might actually really enjoy instead of just finding practical.

Or maybe men don't mind practical gifts. I'd probably shoot for the nifty gadget gift for my husband, once I have a husband and enough money to buy electronics more expensive than a DVD of the latest Christopher Guest movie. (Not that that wouldn't be an awesome gift.)
Starbucks ice cream is delicious.

(And I did notice that in Shrek 2 the villagers ran out of one Starbucks into another. HIlarious. They may be an evil empire, but the coffee is fantastic.)
Saturday, June 19, 2004
You think you have a lot of clothes
When I was younger my Mom would make us go through our clothes twice a year, putting away one season's clothing and seeing what still fits for the upcoming season. Most of my stuff went to a family friend but we made a lot of donations to goodwill. I haven't gone through my clothes to do this since my Mom moved to Florida 3 years ago and I had to get all my things out of her apartment. So, since I'm moving soon I took the opportunity today to do so.

I knew I had a lot of clothes, but man, this is crazy. I culled my t-shirt collection a lot, but I think I'm still in the running for the Most T-Shirts Ever Owned by One Person. It's going to take me 2-3 trips to the car to get everything in there. Luckily, I've noticed a difference in my closet and drawers. Everything fits now and there's actually space in my closet again. You would have thought I'd have like a pair of socks and an empty hanger, but no, I still have a decent wardrobe left.

Anyone want a sweater?

Wednesday, June 16, 2004
A Few Non-skip CDs
I realized while listening to a few CDs in particular that I never skip a track on them unless going for a particular song. After some thought I realized that a decent chunk of my music fit this profile. So, I decided to go through all my music and share the complete list with you. But I got busy. And lazy. So I'm going to do a few off the top of my head and then add more maybe as I move and pack up my stuff. Sorry to disappoint, but if you don't know that I'm a lazy/busy person by now I don't think you know me at all.

Anyway, I'd be interested to know of any overlap with my list my readers have or any additions you'd make. I'm willing to bet that there's a large overlap, but mostly that's because I think I've met almost all the people who comment here and know their music preferences. Basically, I'm calling on all lurkers to post this time. :)

Here we go. In no particular order,
1. Dave Matthew's Band-Crash
2. No Doubt-The Singles
3. The Ataris-So Long Astoria
4. Jimmy Eat World-Bleed American
5. Tenacious D
Monday, June 14, 2004
extreme shenanigans
About a month ago my apartment office mailed me a letter stating that I could now make an appointment to renew my lease, if I do so by tomorrow I can keep my rent the same, otherwise it goes up $20 a month. It also said something about energy conservation and finding new ways to help the residents and keep things fair. Turns out this packet really meant they were going to screw us up the ass and ask for a thank you note.

I looked around at apartment in the area to find a cheaper one and had limited luck so I decided to stay where I am. I like my apartment, the location is great, the only bad things are the price, coin operated laundry (one for 12 apartments, limited times we can use them) and the parking. I have parking but my guests need a pass to park. A pass I need to get from the office in their limited hours. (As a side note, why are many services only 9-5? Don't these people realize most people work those exact hours? Can non grad students actually get this stuff done during their real (as in I have a fake) lunch hour?) So I asked for my lease. They didn't have it ready a week later, citing a computer crash, but made an appointment with me last Saturday morning. Again, not ready, they said they'd slip it under my door early last week. Again, not done. So, when I returned the pants Friday (another side bar, my apartment was totally trashed from the lame and limited revamping they did. I'm still finding ENTIRE SCREWS and PIECES OF CUT WIRE in my carpet. totally awesome. TO THE MAX.) I asked for my lease. They had it, dated the day before. I read it Saturday morning and under the lame attempt to keep me in the apartment for a third year ($100 off one month's rent, why, that'll blind me to the contents of the lease) saw that they planned on aggressively screwing all residents.

How, you ask? Well, if you're a few friends you know how as I was still peeved by it Saturday evening. Get this. At this time, heat is included in the rent price. Pretty sweet in this climate. So are water, sewage and trash removal, which are pretty standard. I've never lived in an apartment where I was expected to pay that. And I rented from the Student Ghetto Master Fire Chief Liquor Store Proprietor of Troy, NY. He who held my security deposit for 6 months for no reason, Tom Garrett. I meant to thank you for the crappy apartment that you didn't completely fix because I insisted on moving in the day my lease started, wow, I'm a dirty bitch. I digress. So, we all now have to pay for heat, water, sewage and trash. Fabulous enough on it's own but it gets better. Oh so much better. Since the building is not set up to split these utilities among the apartments in a way that would reflect use of each in a given apartment, they're dividing the cost up by square footage of apartment each month, billing us directly. T.O.T.A.L.L.Y. R.A.D.

So I'm looking for a new apartment, rather asap since my lease ends with July and good apartments around here will be gone soon. A few of the people I've talked to about renting an apartment at their establishments have asked why I was moving and I told them. One or two have questioned the legality of the above acts, specifically trash removal I think, and it's made me wonder if I interpreted the obfuscated language appropriately, but I think that's just me doubting myself. So I'm looking for a new place. I'm trying to get myself excited about moving by focusing on the chance to redocorate and paint my walls nice colors instead of thinking about packing, throwing stuff out, and changing all my utilities and anything with my address required. (The reason I didn't paint in my current apartment is that I would have had to paint it white myself before moving out.) I don't like moving, but hopefully my next place will last me the remainder of my time here, which will be at least 3 years at this point.
My home computer is fixed. Huzzah! I still need to add back my files and some programs but all the viruses and worms are gone, the virus detecting and ad ware detecting programs are installed and functional, I have windows updates AND a firewall. I went out yesterday and bought a hub that also serves as a firewall and provides wireless internet. (Many thanks again to Matt for helping me out with this.) I'm excited about that. I'm going to turn my apartment into a wifi coffee shop. After I move though, more on that later.

I wanted to install linux on my computer but my all in one printer doesn't have the appropriate drivers in linux, so I'm back to windows. Windows is user friendly but it's also open to all sorts of virus attacks, requiring the above precautions. It's also the tool of the devil. Anyway, it's what I'm using for now.

Functioning computer! Yay again!
Friday, June 11, 2004
How to alarm your apartment office
One of the contractors you had in here earlier this week left his pants in my apartment.
Tuesday, June 08, 2004
Ah, home sweet home
File this under typical.
The Amazing Somnambulist
Most people hit a wall when they're really tired, and I'm no different in that respect, but I think my wall has an invisibility cloak or something. I'll be fine then the next minute so incredibly sleepy you'd think I was drugged. There's little to no warning before I just fall asleep.

An interesting example of this is when I fall asleep while watching TV alone. Without fail, I will fall asleep during the last 5 minutes of the show. It's bizarre. The other night I fell asleep during the last 2 minutes of an episode of Angel season 3. I knew the episode was nearly over but the wall came and, like humpty dumpty, I fell.

Oddly, if people are around me when I fall asleep on their couches (sorry about that) I can wake up and be fine for a few more hours, I just need to actually get up. Or be in a conversation. Watching people play magic or watching TV isn't enough. Luckily I think this means I won't hit the wall while driving, which is fantastic.

I'm going to look for that invisibility cloak. That'd be cool.
Sunday, June 06, 2004
headline news


actual news
cheese nips are the roger moore of cheese crackers
Friday, June 04, 2004
You know how sometimes you ask for help from someone, or they offer it up when you're clearly frustrated or busy, and you quickly realize that they're dead weight? Yeah, that happened to me a lot this week, it seems. I feel bad for the people that are trying to help but just don't realize that I know more than they do about this matter and don't hear me when I say I've already tried whatever they've come up with or that something they said makes no sense. I usually need to get something done quickly in these cases and don't have time to walk people through where I've been and try to politely nudge them away from their futile efforts. I don't want to begrudge help but if it's something important and they're making it harder, I really don't know how to get back to trying things on my own.

Then there are the people, usually guys, that take the attitude that I clearly don't know anything because I'm a girl. (The women just assume they're the only woman who knows this.) Or because they believe this piece of knowledge or person they know is so esoteric or priveledged that I couldn't possibly also have this information. The idea that I know more is ricockulous. These people assume I'm a dumbass with nothing to back up that assertion and refuse to believe they're wrong at all when it's clearly proven that they are. Or they just keep assuming I'm a dumbass and don't know what I'm talking about. It's even better if this person is tech support or something and clearly doesn't know their own job as well as I do.

There's not really a point to this, as it turns out. I don't know how to be polite to the first group of people and I don't know how to avoid the second group. It just doesn't make my already hectic day any easier.
Wednesday, June 02, 2004
The More You Know
What kind of car do you have? How about the interior? The engine? I know a V6 or V8 in the Detroit area isn't uncommon. What's in the CD player right now? I bet it's Faith Hill, or Avril Lavigne. She's a scamp, that one.

How about that lever by the big round thing in front of you? You know the one, it makes the tick tock sound when you hit it. Let me back up a second, how about that big round thing in front of you. Did you ever notice that when that moves, the car moves in the same direction? And that pedal right next to the one that makes you go fast, that slows you down. Try it.

Heck, if you look around you'll see all sorts of helpful signs too. Those arrows mean that cars in that lane go that direction. Red means stop, green means go. It's a lot to remember, I know.

But before you get behind the wheel, make sure you know how to use it and how to read because if you hit my car I'll likely come out with less damage than you and yet a greater incentive to beat you with your own shoe.

(Flourish Peacock)
Note: Ask Walken or De Niro for cameo.

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